Our Family’s Experience

Easter weekend should have been a happy time spent with family and friends. Instead, the tragic events of early Saturday morning changed our lives forever. A mother lost her son, two children lost their father, and my husband lost his brother. While we will never make sense of what happened that day, in the ten days that followed, we became part of something profoundly special, something that will remain with our family forever.

When we were told that my brother-in-law had been declared brain dead, the medical staff asked whether we would consider donating his organs. We didn’t hesitate. In the midst of our grief, we were grateful that some good could come from such a devastating loss. What followed were three long, exhausting days while we waited for tests to be done, medicines to be withdrawn, recipients to be found, and theatres to be booked. The time this took created uncertainty about whether he would remain stable enough to be a donor. There were so many questions, lengthy goodbyes and a great deal of waiting for the moment when it would all be over. And then it was time.

The hospital hallways leading from ICU to the operating theatre were lined with hospital staff, visitors and close family. As we walked, the emotion in the corridor was palpable. There was deep respect and gratitude on every face, and not a dry eye in sight. It was a guard of honour, and it is hard to describe just how profoundly moving that moment was. This was the first organ donation the hospital had facilitated this year. My brother-in-law’s final gift was to help save the lives of others, a legacy that brought meaning to an otherwise devastating loss.

Why Organ Donation Matters

What we went through also highlighted just how important it is to understand how organ donation works in South Africa.

Thousands of adults and children are on waiting lists for life-saving transplants, yet less than 1% of South Africans are registered organ donors. South Africa has one of the lowest deceased organ donor rates in the world. At any given time, around 4 300 South Africans need a life-saving transplant, yet only 400 to 600 transplants are performed each year. Families decline consent in roughly 67% of cases, often because these wishes were never discussed or because of cultural or religious considerations.

To become an organ donor in South Africa, you must explicitly register your consent, as the country operates on an opt-in system. You can sign up easily through the Organ Donor Foundation. However, even if you are registered, medical teams cannot proceed without the consent of your family. It is therefore vital to discuss your wishes with your loved ones. All medical costs related to the retrieval of organs are covered by the recipient’s medical aid or by the State, so there is no cost to the donor’s family.

These conversations are not always easy, but having them in advance can make an enormous difference when families are faced with the unimaginable.

When drafting your Will at Chartered Legacy, we raise the subject of living wills and organ donation. If organ donation is something you would like to consider, we would be happy to assist you in registering as a donor with the Organ Donor Foundation. If you chose not to register when drafting your Will but have since changed your mind, please let us know, and we will gladly assist you. Having faced the unthinkable, knowing that life could be given to others has brought our family some comfort.